Home Design Lifestyle  |  Business  |  Design&Decor  |  Family  |  Food&Dining  |  Garden  |  Health&Beauty  |  Home Improvements  |  Legal  |  Sport&Leisure

We started taking long road trips with our kids when they were still in car seats. Because they were such good travelers, we upped the ante and began adventuring internationally as a family in 1990. Each trip was incredibly enriching and we all eagerly anticipated the next one. That is, until our daughter turned 13. That's when she began resisting the family vacation because it took her away from her friends. Keeping her (and the rest of us) happy while out of town for more than a couple of days took some serious rethinking. Here's what we learned about traveling successfully with tweens or teens.

1. Get input from your teens about your plans - Obviously if you're expected at a family reunion, then that's where you're going. But if you haven't yet finalized your travel plans for your next vacation, let the kids in on the discussions. Obviously they don't get the same voting power as parents, but if teens feel respected and listened to you'll end up traveling with kids who've got a positive attitude. That's worth more than any souvenir!

2. Be realistic about how long you'll be gone - If your son or daughter is really social, two weeks away from peer group may be torturous. Remember: A teen's world doesn't revolve around her friends it revolves because of her friends. Remove her from her social circle for too long and her world screeches to a standstill and she'll make you pay for how isolated and miserable she feels. Better to take a shorter vacation with the whole family if it's going to result in a happier time for all.

3. Give each family member an opportunity to decide a group activity for part of each day - This practice works great as long as you've got one ground rule: If anyone mopes or complains during someone else's chosen activity, then the party pooper loses his/her right to choose an activity that day. Even when our son was 5 he'd be cooperative for just about anything knowing that in a few hours he'd have his chance to have everyone do what he wanted. He also realized that being an unwilling participant took away from everyone's fun, including his. If a 5 year old can make that connection your teen certainly can!

4. Maintain schedules - Schedules create a rhythm for the day. That reduces some of the inevitable stress of being away from home. Your teens may not admit this, but they feel security (and comfort)  Knowing that at 7 PM the family sits down to dinner. Without getting rigid about it a sleep schedule's important too. Sure you're on vacation, but if teens don't go to sleep at a reasonable hour then they're likely to sleep past noon (or later) and that's probably going to:

•  irritate everyone else who wants to get an earlier start

•  compel you to drag your Sleeping Prince(ss) out of bed forcing everyone else to put

   up with a foul-tempered, sleep-deprived adolescent

5. Bring audiobooks for road trips - If the books are well chosen (mysteries are great) then getting back in the car for 8 more hours of driving can actually be something everyone looks forward to. How else are you going to find out what happens next in the story?

6. Factor in jet lag - Jet lag can knock you off balance for a day or more. At its worst, it can leave you feeling flattened you like a steamroller victim with the flu. Studies show that people with strong internal clocks (circadian rhythms) are most susceptible to jet lag. Got any of those in your family? If necessary, go easy with activities for the first day or so. To prevent jet lag, here are some tips: drink water in flight, avoid alcohol and caffeine, and walk around the cabin periodically.

There are also some homeopathic  remedies available in health food stores that  some people swear by. One that we've had great success with is appropriately called "No Jet-Lag" and is available at many health food stores or can be ordered online.

7. Explore your new environment as a family, but pace yourself - Feel compelled to see every single thing listed in the guidebook? If it feels like you're rushing around then you probably are. Temper your expectations and slow down. You may see less but you'll also stress less and enjoy more.

8. Give yourself permission to abandon some of your attitudes - Vacations take you out of the norm so they're great times for self-exploration. If you (and your teens) choose not to limit yourselves with your usual strong opinions ("I don't like boats." "I never eat anything with coconut in it."), you can become a freer you. And who knows? It might help everyone in the family become more openhearted, open-

minded on a permanent basis.

9. Keep a family travel journal - Words capture a completely different kind of memory than photos. Interactions between people you passed on the street, a conversation with a shopkeeper, your feelings during a wild-life encounter, etc.

At the end of every travel day you might come together as a family and talk about what each of you found memorable. Everyone is bound to have a different perspective of the day. That's part of what makes this debriefing so interesting! The person with the best handwriting can take the job of "transcriber" while everyone takes a turn dictating his/her most memorable part of the day. We've had wonderful times over the years, rereading sections of our travel journals to each other.

10. Relax - You're on vacation. Consciously choose to leave stress-related worries at home. They'll be fine without you. Give your mind as well as your body a chance to re-center and regain equilibrium. When you're not stressing you show your best side to your family. And that's the best part of any family vacation.

Whether you and your family have a far away journey coming up in the next few weeks or months, or some day-trips close to home, enjoy your time together, be safe, and happy travels!

Annie Fox, M.Ed. is an award winning author, educator, and online adviser for parents and teens. http://AnnieFox.com